“Someday we’ll look back on this and it will all seem funny. But now you’re said, your Momma’s mad, and your Pappa says he know that I don’t have any money…” Bruce Springsteen, from the song “Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)” circa 1972
I don’t know exactly why, but when I began writing my ’07 wrap up article, that song (and particularly that verse) popped into my head. This may quite possibly be a sign that my mind is beginning to deteriorate, in which case I can look forward to more random moldy oldies playing on my inner iPod Shuffle. Or, it could be that it puts a nice punctuation point on the year that was.
If your livelihood (or investment portfolio) is even indirectly connected to residential real estate, I’m guessing that 2007 was not a banner year. I’m also going to guess that you’re glad to see it in the rearview mirror. And I can understand that. There’s an old saying that goes “Sometimes, in life, you feel like a Jackass in a wind storm. You just have to stand there and take it!” If the Springsteenian wisdom doesn’t do it for you, try that one on for size. But being the sickly sweet, optimistic, Pollyanna that I am, I’m going to miss the year soon to be known as “last”. Because in a lot of ways (at least for me) it was a really great one!
I came into ’07 with a healthy family, and I’m leaving it the same way. After that, everything else is small potatoes. While I’m no skinnier than I was a year ago, I’m no fatter! Less hair, yes, more wrinkly, sure, but no fatter! My wife still puts up with my bad jokes, and occasionally even laughs- I’m really not sure if she’s laughing at my jokes or my progressively balding wrinkling face- but hey, a laugh is a laugh!
None of my hometown sports teams did very well this year (I’m a diehard, loser, Philly fan) but I had the honor of coaching a great bunch of kids in flag football. And, I can still drag my middle aged butt up and down a basketball court two or three times a week. It ain’t pretty, but I can still do it.
The slow real estate market meant I was able to spend more time with my kids-always a good thing! I learned that a six year old boy never tires out, unless it’s time to do chores. I also learned that the definitions for “preteen girl” and “drama” are interchangeable.
My writing improved last year as well. Maybe not my creative ability, but certainly my grammar and sentence structure…well at least my grammar. I even had a reader patiently take the time to teach me how to properly conjugate the word “unequivocal”, while at a Christmas party last week (Thanks Sara!) Of course, I did have to go home and look up the word “conjugate”. Actually, Sara was quite complimentary of my work, and she’s just one of many who have come up to me and said nice things. That’s really made it a great year!
I love this community! And as In & Out extends its circulation all the way down to Happy Valley, I’ve gotten a chance to meet more and more really nice people. In a relatively short time, this year will be a distant memory, and I know that most of it will make me smile when I think back on it. But that’s just me, the sickly sweet, optimistic, Pollyanna with the thinning hair and wrinkles.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Dirty Sock Syndrome
I can’t think of many things that smell worse than a wet, dirty sock, Ok, maybe I can. Let’s see-a day-old diaper, the rat that died under the refrigerator, my aunt Mamie on a humid summer day… Anyway, a wet, dirty sock is pretty bad. And it’s worse if it’s being wafted through the duct system of your home, every time you run your air conditioning or heat. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to “Dirty Socks Syndrome”, hereafter referred to as DSS, to save me the time of typing it again.. All of a sudden, I've been getting a rash of emails from readers reporting that they have a stinky HVAC (heating, ventilation, and air conditioning) system. DSS might just be the culprit!
I was surprised when I recently discovered the phenomenon of DSS. After eliminating several of my own theories, I called Eric Nichols at Daisy Mountain AC, and he pointed me in the right direction. Just when I thought I knew everything, up pops yet another problem that requires me to do yet more reading and research! This research led me to the Residential Duct Systems Manual “D”, brought to you by your good friends at the Air Conditioning Contractors Association of America. (Actually, Eric faxed me the info but you don't have to know that) According to what I read, there isn't really a clear consensus on what causes this phenomenon. Some researchers contend that it is the result of biological contaminants that get sucked through your HVAC system. These microorganisms stick to the evaporator coil. Now here’s where things get a little sketchy. Many researchers say that DSS only occurs with electric heat! The problem with that is that the people writing me all have gas heat, AND were experiencing the stinkies in the summer, when the air conditioning was being used. So now I have to add my own wild and unconfirmed speculation. So here goes:
If your evaporator coil (you have at least one in your attic, trust me) gets dirty, then these microorganisms can gain a foothold. These guys already exist in the air and unless you have a better than average filtration system, it's just a matter of time before they coat the coil. Leaky duct work and infrequent filter changes will accelerate the contamination process. During monsoon season, we get a lot of humidity. The moisture works as plant food for these microorganisms. The nice warm environment that a summer attic provides, serves as a Petri dish. The only thing left is for you to turn on the AC. Now that nasty, stinky, mess gets wafted throughout your home. It's kind of like taking a teenager's dirty laundry hamper and attaching a blow dryer!
So, what do you do? The first thing is to have an HVAC professional come out and check it out. Do your due diligence so you don't get a fly-by-nighter trying to sell you a bunch of unnecessary add ons. A good evaporator coil cleaning should do the trick. If the guy recommends duct cleaning, get at least one other unbiased opinion. If the stink tends to come back, you might have leaky ducting. I really want to stress the importance of using a good company. If not, you could get taken to the cleaners!
A long term option might be a device that employs a broad spectrum high intensity UV light to kill the microorganisms. UV light has long been used in the food, air, and water industries as a method of killing nasty germs and bacteria. These guys can cost $700 or more, so (for the third time!) do your homework! And before you go and spend a bunch of money, make sure it's not something that crawled under the fridge!
I was surprised when I recently discovered the phenomenon of DSS. After eliminating several of my own theories, I called Eric Nichols at Daisy Mountain AC, and he pointed me in the right direction. Just when I thought I knew everything, up pops yet another problem that requires me to do yet more reading and research! This research led me to the Residential Duct Systems Manual “D”, brought to you by your good friends at the Air Conditioning Contractors Association of America. (Actually, Eric faxed me the info but you don't have to know that) According to what I read, there isn't really a clear consensus on what causes this phenomenon. Some researchers contend that it is the result of biological contaminants that get sucked through your HVAC system. These microorganisms stick to the evaporator coil. Now here’s where things get a little sketchy. Many researchers say that DSS only occurs with electric heat! The problem with that is that the people writing me all have gas heat, AND were experiencing the stinkies in the summer, when the air conditioning was being used. So now I have to add my own wild and unconfirmed speculation. So here goes:
If your evaporator coil (you have at least one in your attic, trust me) gets dirty, then these microorganisms can gain a foothold. These guys already exist in the air and unless you have a better than average filtration system, it's just a matter of time before they coat the coil. Leaky duct work and infrequent filter changes will accelerate the contamination process. During monsoon season, we get a lot of humidity. The moisture works as plant food for these microorganisms. The nice warm environment that a summer attic provides, serves as a Petri dish. The only thing left is for you to turn on the AC. Now that nasty, stinky, mess gets wafted throughout your home. It's kind of like taking a teenager's dirty laundry hamper and attaching a blow dryer!
So, what do you do? The first thing is to have an HVAC professional come out and check it out. Do your due diligence so you don't get a fly-by-nighter trying to sell you a bunch of unnecessary add ons. A good evaporator coil cleaning should do the trick. If the guy recommends duct cleaning, get at least one other unbiased opinion. If the stink tends to come back, you might have leaky ducting. I really want to stress the importance of using a good company. If not, you could get taken to the cleaners!
A long term option might be a device that employs a broad spectrum high intensity UV light to kill the microorganisms. UV light has long been used in the food, air, and water industries as a method of killing nasty germs and bacteria. These guys can cost $700 or more, so (for the third time!) do your homework! And before you go and spend a bunch of money, make sure it's not something that crawled under the fridge!
Santa V. The HOA
Dear Chris,
I really enjoy your column. I always learn something and get a chuckle at the same time. In fact, I read it to the elves during break time- it really helps to ease the tension that comes with 22 hour workdays. Hopefully you can help me with my problem.
As you can probably imagine, Rudolph has gotten quite full of himself over the years. When I rescued him from the Island of Misfits, he was just a shy yearling with chronic nasal congestion. Now, I’m sad to say, Rudolph has gone “Hollywood” and is demanding his own private stable. The problem is that I’m not sure the North Pole CC&R’s will allow it! I’ve already gotten “nastygrams” for leaving my Christmas lights up too long, and for violating the pooper scooper ordinance. We had to shut down Mrs. Claus’s cookie baking business when our neighbor, Old Man Winter, reported us to the health department.
Any advice or direction would be greatly appreciated.
Kristopher Nicholas Kringle (aka Santa)
Dear Santa,
Thank you for taking the time to write. While I’m not familiar with the CC&R’s where you live, my guess is you’ve got a snowball’s chance in… well, you get the idea.
To be perfectly frank, you don’t sound like the kind of guy who should live in an HOA type community. Did you read the CC&R’s BEFORE you bought there? You’ve already ticked off one neighbor; it’s just a matter of time before the Ice Queen comes down on you as well. I can only imagine what it would be like to live downwind of eight reindeer- tiny or not! Do you have enough off-street sleigh parking for the elves? I’m guessing no. And 22 hours a day of hammering, sawing, and Blitzen knows what else? Dude, you’re the misfit!
Regarding your stable building question, let’s do some simple math here. The Rudolph movie came out in 1964, which means your” problem child” is at least 43 years old. Don’t you think it’s time he got a place of his own? Cut the cord, man, cut the cord! I’ve read in the tabloids that all he does is sit around with his childhood friend Hermey, drinking cider and playing Xbox. You’re way too easy on him, Santa. As an aside, Hermey really should have pursued that career in dentistry- candy canes have NOT been kind to his smile!
Sorry if I’m coming down a bit hard on you Santa, but it sounds to me like you need a little tough love and piping hot cup of reality check! Your story is eerily familiar to the Easter Bunny v. Sun City- Briar Patch case a few years back. E.B. knew that he couldn’t let his 4,327 children live in an age restricted community but he did it anyway. Have you noticed that the baskets have been smaller the last few years? Attorneys aren’t cheap, Mr. Kringle. You need to make some changes quick or you could be jingling all the way to the poor house!
Let me suggest selling the home you have, and picking up some acreage in the Yukon. The Abominable Snowman is a Realtor® up there- use my name and he’ll take good care of you. Sure, you’ll take a hit because of current market conditions, but it’s all relative. This way you can start fresh and do things right. Mrs. Claus can re-launch her cookie business, Rudolph and his buddies will have room to romp, and you might find the isolation quite relaxing.
Good luck Santa, please see my attached wish list. Oh, and if you could, try and park the reindeer in the driveway this year. I’m not saying it was you, but we just happened to find some cracked roof tiles right after last year’s visit.
I really enjoy your column. I always learn something and get a chuckle at the same time. In fact, I read it to the elves during break time- it really helps to ease the tension that comes with 22 hour workdays. Hopefully you can help me with my problem.
As you can probably imagine, Rudolph has gotten quite full of himself over the years. When I rescued him from the Island of Misfits, he was just a shy yearling with chronic nasal congestion. Now, I’m sad to say, Rudolph has gone “Hollywood” and is demanding his own private stable. The problem is that I’m not sure the North Pole CC&R’s will allow it! I’ve already gotten “nastygrams” for leaving my Christmas lights up too long, and for violating the pooper scooper ordinance. We had to shut down Mrs. Claus’s cookie baking business when our neighbor, Old Man Winter, reported us to the health department.
Any advice or direction would be greatly appreciated.
Kristopher Nicholas Kringle (aka Santa)
Dear Santa,
Thank you for taking the time to write. While I’m not familiar with the CC&R’s where you live, my guess is you’ve got a snowball’s chance in… well, you get the idea.
To be perfectly frank, you don’t sound like the kind of guy who should live in an HOA type community. Did you read the CC&R’s BEFORE you bought there? You’ve already ticked off one neighbor; it’s just a matter of time before the Ice Queen comes down on you as well. I can only imagine what it would be like to live downwind of eight reindeer- tiny or not! Do you have enough off-street sleigh parking for the elves? I’m guessing no. And 22 hours a day of hammering, sawing, and Blitzen knows what else? Dude, you’re the misfit!
Regarding your stable building question, let’s do some simple math here. The Rudolph movie came out in 1964, which means your” problem child” is at least 43 years old. Don’t you think it’s time he got a place of his own? Cut the cord, man, cut the cord! I’ve read in the tabloids that all he does is sit around with his childhood friend Hermey, drinking cider and playing Xbox. You’re way too easy on him, Santa. As an aside, Hermey really should have pursued that career in dentistry- candy canes have NOT been kind to his smile!
Sorry if I’m coming down a bit hard on you Santa, but it sounds to me like you need a little tough love and piping hot cup of reality check! Your story is eerily familiar to the Easter Bunny v. Sun City- Briar Patch case a few years back. E.B. knew that he couldn’t let his 4,327 children live in an age restricted community but he did it anyway. Have you noticed that the baskets have been smaller the last few years? Attorneys aren’t cheap, Mr. Kringle. You need to make some changes quick or you could be jingling all the way to the poor house!
Let me suggest selling the home you have, and picking up some acreage in the Yukon. The Abominable Snowman is a Realtor® up there- use my name and he’ll take good care of you. Sure, you’ll take a hit because of current market conditions, but it’s all relative. This way you can start fresh and do things right. Mrs. Claus can re-launch her cookie business, Rudolph and his buddies will have room to romp, and you might find the isolation quite relaxing.
Good luck Santa, please see my attached wish list. Oh, and if you could, try and park the reindeer in the driveway this year. I’m not saying it was you, but we just happened to find some cracked roof tiles right after last year’s visit.
Friday, October 26, 2007
The Right Ladder Can Save Your Neck, and Maybe Even Your Marriage
I feel compelled to let you in on a dirty little secret about my wife. She’s short. While she struts around the town in her two inch plus heels, giving everyone the impression that she’s a towering 5 feet 4 inches, in reality she barely tops out at 5-foot-2. Shocking! Since I’m about a foot taller, her “shortcoming” has had some effect on our marriage. Being the loving and understanding husband I am, I’ve learned to “lower” my expectations and meet her halfway. That’s right, I bought her a step stool.
With the top shelf of our kitchen cabinet at about 86 inches and the pantry shelves even higher than that, the step stool has become a permanent fixture in our kitchen. We bought an 18-inch, solid wood, unfinished model, and stained it to match our cabinets. We store it under the kitchen desk, where it doubles as a seat.
An extra foot-and-a-half boost keeps my lovely bride happy and keeps me from having to get up off the couch every 5 minutes. Ahh…marital bliss!
Even a man of superior verticality, such as myself, needs a little lift every once in a while. With recess lights burning out, furnace filters needing replacing, and dying smoke detectors chirping in the wee hours of the morning, it’s a good idea to have a few ladders in your garage, or at least in your neighbor’s garage.
If I had to choose three, here’s what I’d purchase:
Step Stool- Get one that’s between 18 and 24 inches. Whether you go with one that looks like a piece of furniture or a fold-away type, is up to your taste. Just make sure it’s sturdy and supports the weight of the heaviest person in the house. Even a 2-foot fall can cause serious injury. If you’ve got a two-story home, get two. This will lessen the temptation to stack 14 encyclopedias because you’re too lazy to go downstairs.
Six-foot Step Ladder- I have a heavy duty fiberglass model that I bought almost 20 years ago. I made the purchase shortly after getting electrocuted while working on an aluminum ladder. Not only did it conduct electricity, but the leg buckled as I did the “sizzle dance” from the 60-amp shock. A good fiberglass ladder will have reinforced lower legs. Get one rated for 300 lbs just in case you plan to grow—this advice applies to any ladder you buy. A 6-footer will get you as high as 9 feet (or more if you’re not my wife).
24-foot Multi-Purpose- You might have seen the “Little Giant” infomercials, with that guy who hasn’t had to find a real job since Home Improvement went off the air (yes, I am jealous!). This baby is the Swiss Army Knife of verticality with more configurations than a Cold War era gymnast! It’s actually a great ladder, although somewhat pricey. Many of the big box stores carry a knock-off brand that’s cheaper and just as reliable. The multi-purpose can be turned a 24’ extension ladder, a 12’ step ladder and the above mentioned six-foot stepladder, just to mention a few of its transformations. The reason I recommend a separate six-footer is that the weight of the multi-purpose makes it impractical to haul out every time you need to change a light bulb.
Bad news for you home owners with really, really, highly mounted smoke detectors. If they are more than 18’ off the floor, you may need an even taller ladder. A 24’ extension does you no good if the smokie is in the middle of the room, unless you’ve figured out how to defy gravity. So, you can spend a ton of money on a bigger stepladder that you use once a year, you can rent one as needed, hire a handyman who owns one, or you can make friends with a really, really, tall person. That’s basically what my wife did. You might want to choose a slightly less obnoxious person.
With the top shelf of our kitchen cabinet at about 86 inches and the pantry shelves even higher than that, the step stool has become a permanent fixture in our kitchen. We bought an 18-inch, solid wood, unfinished model, and stained it to match our cabinets. We store it under the kitchen desk, where it doubles as a seat.
An extra foot-and-a-half boost keeps my lovely bride happy and keeps me from having to get up off the couch every 5 minutes. Ahh…marital bliss!
Even a man of superior verticality, such as myself, needs a little lift every once in a while. With recess lights burning out, furnace filters needing replacing, and dying smoke detectors chirping in the wee hours of the morning, it’s a good idea to have a few ladders in your garage, or at least in your neighbor’s garage.
If I had to choose three, here’s what I’d purchase:
Step Stool- Get one that’s between 18 and 24 inches. Whether you go with one that looks like a piece of furniture or a fold-away type, is up to your taste. Just make sure it’s sturdy and supports the weight of the heaviest person in the house. Even a 2-foot fall can cause serious injury. If you’ve got a two-story home, get two. This will lessen the temptation to stack 14 encyclopedias because you’re too lazy to go downstairs.
Six-foot Step Ladder- I have a heavy duty fiberglass model that I bought almost 20 years ago. I made the purchase shortly after getting electrocuted while working on an aluminum ladder. Not only did it conduct electricity, but the leg buckled as I did the “sizzle dance” from the 60-amp shock. A good fiberglass ladder will have reinforced lower legs. Get one rated for 300 lbs just in case you plan to grow—this advice applies to any ladder you buy. A 6-footer will get you as high as 9 feet (or more if you’re not my wife).
24-foot Multi-Purpose- You might have seen the “Little Giant” infomercials, with that guy who hasn’t had to find a real job since Home Improvement went off the air (yes, I am jealous!). This baby is the Swiss Army Knife of verticality with more configurations than a Cold War era gymnast! It’s actually a great ladder, although somewhat pricey. Many of the big box stores carry a knock-off brand that’s cheaper and just as reliable. The multi-purpose can be turned a 24’ extension ladder, a 12’ step ladder and the above mentioned six-foot stepladder, just to mention a few of its transformations. The reason I recommend a separate six-footer is that the weight of the multi-purpose makes it impractical to haul out every time you need to change a light bulb.
Bad news for you home owners with really, really, highly mounted smoke detectors. If they are more than 18’ off the floor, you may need an even taller ladder. A 24’ extension does you no good if the smokie is in the middle of the room, unless you’ve figured out how to defy gravity. So, you can spend a ton of money on a bigger stepladder that you use once a year, you can rent one as needed, hire a handyman who owns one, or you can make friends with a really, really, tall person. That’s basically what my wife did. You might want to choose a slightly less obnoxious person.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Fan Letters...An example
I get a fair amount of letters, err...emails, from readers of my magazine column. There's a lot of (maybe too much) variety, ranging from pointed questions to random thoughts, and even a proposal for marriage! (Note to Miriam C., 82 years young- While I appreciate the revealing photos, I’m already taken!)
One of the letters read like this:
I read your column this week – as I usually do – and laughed – as I usually do…and it was so true what you said about “Oh no, another local magazine.” I decided to browse through it despite my initial thoughts on the magazine and found that it was actually quite interesting. I must say that your article is one of my favorites –sometimes useful and always pretty funny. I have been reading it ever since. (Ok, ok not EVERY issue). Your plea for help has not gone unnoticed and I felt the immediate need to get my wits about me and send you an email. I thought that I would start typing and something would come to me that would help but unfortunately nothing so far. I was wondering if you had children – I have a 12 year old and a 1 year old and thought perhaps you may want to branch out in that direction. For example, do you have experience with potty training? I bet you would have a flood of questions. With that suggestion said I do have a question (more of a curiosity) that I have wondered about in the past. Bear with me – I am only trying to help you out. My question: Why are the houses in Phoenix made with 2x4’s instead of 2x6’s? Where I came from - the north - most houses are constructed with 2x6’s. Wouldn’t this be more energy efficient – the houses seem paper thin.
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for reading! Yes, I have three children, ages 10, 9, and 6. When it comes to potty training, I find duct tape to be a wonderful product! This is just one reason why I focus my efforts on home tips and not raising kids. I will give you one quick tidbit, though. When your three year old son utters the phrase “Oh no, I “goed” poopy on Spiderman!” it’s not a good thing.
Regarding the construction of homes using 2x4’s instead of 2x6’s, you are absolutely correct. 2x6 is better. With a 2x6 wall you will get better insulation and sound proofing, and you’ll also get straighter walls. With the insulation, most builders use a batt type of material. Batt insulation comes in various thicknesses which translate into different “R-values”. R-value is the material’s ability to resist the flow of heat. The higher the R-value the more effective the insulation. a 2x4 wall will take up to an R-15 batt, will a 2x6 wall will take up to R-21. I have seen some builders try to push an R-21 batt into a 2x4 wall, but that does no good because compressing the insulation reduces it’s R-value.
As to “why” they don’t all use 2x6, the basic answer is “value engineering”. This is builder-eze for making something cheaper, so they can increase their profits. Did I say that? Actually, what I meant was- so they can build you a better value your hard earned money. Why yes, I am running for political office, why do you ask?
One of the letters read like this:
I read your column this week – as I usually do – and laughed – as I usually do…and it was so true what you said about “Oh no, another local magazine.” I decided to browse through it despite my initial thoughts on the magazine and found that it was actually quite interesting. I must say that your article is one of my favorites –sometimes useful and always pretty funny. I have been reading it ever since. (Ok, ok not EVERY issue). Your plea for help has not gone unnoticed and I felt the immediate need to get my wits about me and send you an email. I thought that I would start typing and something would come to me that would help but unfortunately nothing so far. I was wondering if you had children – I have a 12 year old and a 1 year old and thought perhaps you may want to branch out in that direction. For example, do you have experience with potty training? I bet you would have a flood of questions. With that suggestion said I do have a question (more of a curiosity) that I have wondered about in the past. Bear with me – I am only trying to help you out. My question: Why are the houses in Phoenix made with 2x4’s instead of 2x6’s? Where I came from - the north - most houses are constructed with 2x6’s. Wouldn’t this be more energy efficient – the houses seem paper thin.
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for reading! Yes, I have three children, ages 10, 9, and 6. When it comes to potty training, I find duct tape to be a wonderful product! This is just one reason why I focus my efforts on home tips and not raising kids. I will give you one quick tidbit, though. When your three year old son utters the phrase “Oh no, I “goed” poopy on Spiderman!” it’s not a good thing.
Regarding the construction of homes using 2x4’s instead of 2x6’s, you are absolutely correct. 2x6 is better. With a 2x6 wall you will get better insulation and sound proofing, and you’ll also get straighter walls. With the insulation, most builders use a batt type of material. Batt insulation comes in various thicknesses which translate into different “R-values”. R-value is the material’s ability to resist the flow of heat. The higher the R-value the more effective the insulation. a 2x4 wall will take up to an R-15 batt, will a 2x6 wall will take up to R-21. I have seen some builders try to push an R-21 batt into a 2x4 wall, but that does no good because compressing the insulation reduces it’s R-value.
As to “why” they don’t all use 2x6, the basic answer is “value engineering”. This is builder-eze for making something cheaper, so they can increase their profits. Did I say that? Actually, what I meant was- so they can build you a better value your hard earned money. Why yes, I am running for political office, why do you ask?
Some Foresight on Foreclosures
I know this comes as a shock to many of you, but I don’t make a living as a writer. On the contrary, while the fine ownership of In&Out pays me much more than I’m worth, 48 cents a month just doesn’t pay the bills. My real job is managing a home inspection company, and every once in a while I feel the compulsion to do a column related to said real job. I’m just funny that way.
Just a few years ago, the real estate bubble was in full bloom. Sellers were receiving multiple offers on their homes before the ink was dry on the listing agreement. Buyers, on the other hand, were scrambling to get a piece of the American dream. A full price offer was no guarantee that they would get the home they desired so offers above asking price were commonplace.
During this wild and crazy time, the seller held all the cards. They would smugly offer their home “as is”, refusing to make even a minor concession. Can’t say that I blame them, that’s what happens in a seller’s market- it’s that whole supply and demand thing that we learned in Economics 101. As a matter of record, I did the same thing. The problem arose when buyers, and sometimes the agent representing them, would add two plus two and get three! They would think that “as is” translated into “no home inspection”. The mindset was- ‘why should I pay for an inspection, when the seller won’t fix anything that’s found”. This wrong-headed thinking led to many a homebuyer purchasing a home that was not only overpriced, but in need of serious repair. Not very smart, and shame on any agent who supports this bad advice!
Let’s fast-forward to today. Look in any real estate listings publication and you’ll see numerous ads for “short sale” or “bank owned” properties. Times have changed, and there are opportunities galore for buyers! (Just a bit of unsolicited advice- In a buyer’s market, YOU BUY!!! They don’t last forever)
Sadly, buyers and their agents are making the same stupid mistake that they did a few years ago. Because short sales and bank owned properties are being sold “as-is”, the inspection has once again become the red-headed stepchild of the real estate transaction. Fool me twice, shame on me!
Don’t make this mistake! Bank owned and pre-foreclosure properties have the same thing in common- distressed homeowners. While owner occupied pre-foreclosure properties may still be maintained, investor owned and bank owned properties are quite often neglected. Utilities are often shut off for long periods of time. Some are even intentionally damaged by former owners, tenants, and vandals.
A proper home inspection costs just a few hundred dollars and can save you thousands. Don’t make the same mistake that you made a few years ago. And if your agent recommends that you not have the property inspected, then you need to find another agent.
Ok, now you have some good advice, and I’ve actually met my quota to talk about home inspection at least once a year. It’s kind of funny that when I do write this type of column, I almost always get one or two emails from real estate agents accusing me of trashing their profession. For the record, that’s not my point. If you are truly a “real estate professional” this should all make perfect sense. If you feel differently, please do contact me. I’d be happy to print your letter and respond publicly.
Just a few years ago, the real estate bubble was in full bloom. Sellers were receiving multiple offers on their homes before the ink was dry on the listing agreement. Buyers, on the other hand, were scrambling to get a piece of the American dream. A full price offer was no guarantee that they would get the home they desired so offers above asking price were commonplace.
During this wild and crazy time, the seller held all the cards. They would smugly offer their home “as is”, refusing to make even a minor concession. Can’t say that I blame them, that’s what happens in a seller’s market- it’s that whole supply and demand thing that we learned in Economics 101. As a matter of record, I did the same thing. The problem arose when buyers, and sometimes the agent representing them, would add two plus two and get three! They would think that “as is” translated into “no home inspection”. The mindset was- ‘why should I pay for an inspection, when the seller won’t fix anything that’s found”. This wrong-headed thinking led to many a homebuyer purchasing a home that was not only overpriced, but in need of serious repair. Not very smart, and shame on any agent who supports this bad advice!
Let’s fast-forward to today. Look in any real estate listings publication and you’ll see numerous ads for “short sale” or “bank owned” properties. Times have changed, and there are opportunities galore for buyers! (Just a bit of unsolicited advice- In a buyer’s market, YOU BUY!!! They don’t last forever)
Sadly, buyers and their agents are making the same stupid mistake that they did a few years ago. Because short sales and bank owned properties are being sold “as-is”, the inspection has once again become the red-headed stepchild of the real estate transaction. Fool me twice, shame on me!
Don’t make this mistake! Bank owned and pre-foreclosure properties have the same thing in common- distressed homeowners. While owner occupied pre-foreclosure properties may still be maintained, investor owned and bank owned properties are quite often neglected. Utilities are often shut off for long periods of time. Some are even intentionally damaged by former owners, tenants, and vandals.
A proper home inspection costs just a few hundred dollars and can save you thousands. Don’t make the same mistake that you made a few years ago. And if your agent recommends that you not have the property inspected, then you need to find another agent.
Ok, now you have some good advice, and I’ve actually met my quota to talk about home inspection at least once a year. It’s kind of funny that when I do write this type of column, I almost always get one or two emails from real estate agents accusing me of trashing their profession. For the record, that’s not my point. If you are truly a “real estate professional” this should all make perfect sense. If you feel differently, please do contact me. I’d be happy to print your letter and respond publicly.
Green and Lazy
Riddle me this: What’s green and lazy and never gets any respect from his publisher? Answer: Me!
Here I am once again late with my column, and Nadine is threatening to bump me for an article on Norwegian Origami. I mean no offense to all you Norwegian Origami enthusiasts, but I sincerely believe that I can tap out something that might appeal to a slightly larger demographic. Which got me thinking…
Being green is the “new millennium” thing to do. Whether you’re a Birkenstock wearing throwback from Haight-Ashbury, or a Yuppie Dink with a PHD and an SUV, it’s your job to help save the planet from ozone, non-biodegradable packaging, and overweight middle aged men who insist on wearing skintight Under-Armor athletic wear. Ok, maybe you just need to pick two of the three, but it’s your choice.
I have to admit that I’m a bit intimidated with all the new politically correct rules when it comes to being “green”. I think that part of this intimidation stems from my overwhelming desire to defend the self-absorbed and lazy side of me that I’ve worked so hard to nurture. I want to be green, but I don’t want it to hurt! I mean think about it, if we all held our collective breath for 35 minutes, we would reduce carbon dioxide emissions by 83 percent, AND provide a much needed food source for the endangered Canadian Corpse Worm. But that wouldn’t be much fun now, would it?
Here’s a short list of things you can do to help, without much hurt:
Refuse the plastic grocery bag! If you’re like me, getting a plastic bag is just part of the shopping experience, even if we don’t need one. I have made a conscious effort to say NO, when I have just a few items. I did a little experiment, and in just one week I consumed 18 less bags, just by not taking one when I had three or less small items. If you want to go a step further, carry reusable bags for the bigger shopping trips. Some stores (CHRISTINE- ADD STORES HERE!!!) even pay you a few cents for doing it.
Change to Fluorescent lights- While the old fluorescents used to have that harsh high school biology class light, the new ones offer different hues that are as comfy as grandma’s porch light (whatever!). I replaced 27 regular bulbs with fluorescents and I can’t tell the difference. The average household will save about $65 in five years for every bulb they switch. The newer bulb last about that long and cost around $3 each (less if you really look around). So, I’m going to save about $300 a year and lower my carbon footprint at the same time!
Remove the lids from your bottles- Many recycling plants are not able to recycle plastic bottles that have the lids screwed on. Make sure you remove them before throwing the bottles in the bin. Here’s an idea: Collect all the lids and make original “cap sculptures”. Try it, it’s more fun than Norwegian Origami!
Stop wasting water!- Did you know that one dripping faucet could fill Lake Michigan in just three days? Jeez, some of you will believe anything! But a dripping faucet, or over watering, or running the faucet while you’re brushing your teeth or shaving, all waste water. So do something about it!
None of the suggestions I made are all that difficult. Even if you just pick one, you’re helping. If you have other tips that are simple and make a difference, send them to me. It will help the planet and more importantly, help me write another article, thus keeping my publisher off my back. You do realize that “Nadine” rhymes with “mean”. Oh yeah, and “green”!
Here I am once again late with my column, and Nadine is threatening to bump me for an article on Norwegian Origami. I mean no offense to all you Norwegian Origami enthusiasts, but I sincerely believe that I can tap out something that might appeal to a slightly larger demographic. Which got me thinking…
Being green is the “new millennium” thing to do. Whether you’re a Birkenstock wearing throwback from Haight-Ashbury, or a Yuppie Dink with a PHD and an SUV, it’s your job to help save the planet from ozone, non-biodegradable packaging, and overweight middle aged men who insist on wearing skintight Under-Armor athletic wear. Ok, maybe you just need to pick two of the three, but it’s your choice.
I have to admit that I’m a bit intimidated with all the new politically correct rules when it comes to being “green”. I think that part of this intimidation stems from my overwhelming desire to defend the self-absorbed and lazy side of me that I’ve worked so hard to nurture. I want to be green, but I don’t want it to hurt! I mean think about it, if we all held our collective breath for 35 minutes, we would reduce carbon dioxide emissions by 83 percent, AND provide a much needed food source for the endangered Canadian Corpse Worm. But that wouldn’t be much fun now, would it?
Here’s a short list of things you can do to help, without much hurt:
Refuse the plastic grocery bag! If you’re like me, getting a plastic bag is just part of the shopping experience, even if we don’t need one. I have made a conscious effort to say NO, when I have just a few items. I did a little experiment, and in just one week I consumed 18 less bags, just by not taking one when I had three or less small items. If you want to go a step further, carry reusable bags for the bigger shopping trips. Some stores (CHRISTINE- ADD STORES HERE!!!) even pay you a few cents for doing it.
Change to Fluorescent lights- While the old fluorescents used to have that harsh high school biology class light, the new ones offer different hues that are as comfy as grandma’s porch light (whatever!). I replaced 27 regular bulbs with fluorescents and I can’t tell the difference. The average household will save about $65 in five years for every bulb they switch. The newer bulb last about that long and cost around $3 each (less if you really look around). So, I’m going to save about $300 a year and lower my carbon footprint at the same time!
Remove the lids from your bottles- Many recycling plants are not able to recycle plastic bottles that have the lids screwed on. Make sure you remove them before throwing the bottles in the bin. Here’s an idea: Collect all the lids and make original “cap sculptures”. Try it, it’s more fun than Norwegian Origami!
Stop wasting water!- Did you know that one dripping faucet could fill Lake Michigan in just three days? Jeez, some of you will believe anything! But a dripping faucet, or over watering, or running the faucet while you’re brushing your teeth or shaving, all waste water. So do something about it!
None of the suggestions I made are all that difficult. Even if you just pick one, you’re helping. If you have other tips that are simple and make a difference, send them to me. It will help the planet and more importantly, help me write another article, thus keeping my publisher off my back. You do realize that “Nadine” rhymes with “mean”. Oh yeah, and “green”!
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