I have to admit, I never saw it coming. It was a typical Saturday morning and my trusty whiteboard was chock full of honey-do’s and gotta-get-dones. I had cracks to caulk, weeds to whack, and a porch to paint. On any other weekend, this would be cause for much rejoicing. Yeah, I’m funny that way. Give me a list of chores and a pouch full of power tools, and I’m in handyman heaven. But this time it was different. There was no rejoicing, just regret. Excited anticipation was replaced with downright dejection. There was no joy in Toolville. Then it hit me: I was suffering from an acute case of (gasp) Domicile Dowturn Depression.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Down Market Maintenance
Monday, April 14, 2008
Something that "Rocks"
So I get this email at
I grew up in a small town in
Behind our house was gravel covered alley. When cars drove through the alley, they would spray that gravel into our yard. Subsequently, I spent many summer days picking rocks out of our lawn, usually as punishment for something I didn’t do. I was misunderstood then, much like I am now. Bottom line: rocks go in the alley, not the yard. Grass goes in the yard.
Imagine my confusion the first time I laid eyes on Greater Phoenix suburbia! My first notion was that the kids out here were either very well behaved, or extremely lazy! It took me a day or two to realize that you zany locals put rocks in your yard on purpose. I even saw one guy in
Technically speaking, it’s not called rock, or pebbles, or stones, or gravel, for that matter. The proper term is “decomposed granite”. No, really, that’s what its called. (I think I know one industry that is totally overpaying it’s marketing department) The big pieces of granite have decomposed into smaller pieces of granite, which is how they came up with the wonderful name. By the way, this decomposition process continues after you hump, haul, and rake it into your yard. Eventually, the rocks turn into gravel, and the gravel turns into dust. That’s why you need to repeat the process every five to ten years. Oh, joy!
As you probably know, the color of your rocks, as well as the size, can be they difference between HOA harmony and the dreaded “nasty-gram”. Some people have had to remove tons of the stuff because it was too big, too small, to red, or too brown. I don’t think the quarries have a return policy, so its best to know what you’re permitted to have before you get it dumped in front of your house. Oh, and when you do get it dumped in front of your house, its your responsibility to make sure that “Mount Gravel” doesn’t pose a safety hazard to vehicles navigating the street. As much as we’d all love to witness our neighbor’s Subaru jump 23 recycling bins, most community CC&R’s frown upon this type of exhibition- and the facial lacerations that go with it.
Well that concludes my column on gravel, or rocks, or… whatever you want to call the stuff. I hope you learned something, although you probably didn’t. Its not about education around here, or art for that matter. Its all about keeping the honchos happy. I feel so, so dirty….
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Roof Inspector, or Roofer?
I see you are no longer a home inspector -- probably have not been for awhile. I only noticed because I needed my roof inspected, as it is leaking, and I am not sure it should be after only 5 years. Can you refer me to someone who can come out and look at it before I call the roofing company?
Thank you for all of your articles, you are very informative and HILARIOUS!
Angie
Dear Angie,
Let me start by thanking you for your compliment and giving you one in return. Your ability to recognize talent is amazingly accurate! You are also accurate in observing that I am no longer a home inspector. Long story, happy ending.
Now let’s talk about you roof, shall we? No, it shouldn’t be leaking, and you probably want to call a roofer rather than an inspector. An inspector will tell you that your roof is leaking and, of course, you already know that! A roofer will tell you why and what needs to be done to fix it. A home inspector is a generalist and a roofer is a specialist. You go to a family doctor for an annual check-up, but if you wake up one morning and notice that you’ve grown an extra ear, you probably need a specialist.
It’s possible that your roof is still under warranty, so your first call should be to the builder or their roofing contractor. If the roof has been fine for five years and now all of a sudden is leaking, the problem may not be warranty related. I tend to get a number of calls on roof leaks right after Christmas decoration installation season. Maybe that’s just a coincidence.
Let’s go back to the subject of the inspector/doctor analogy. There are those who get an annual check-up and those who only go to the doctor when they sprout an additional appendage. The same goes for homeowners and their roofs. If you read your roof warranty, the manufacturer generally recommends an inspection every two years. I agree. They also require that you maintain your roof. I agree with that as well. Now, before you sling a ladder up on you roof and risk breaking your roof tiles and your cranium, let me clarify what I mean by inspection and maintenance.
Inspection: Once a year you should inspect the roof yourself, but not by walking on it. Use a ladder to check from the roof eave, or use binoculars to get a better view from the ground. A combination of these two methods is best. You should be looking for broken or dislodged tiles, tree branches rubbing against the roof, debris, or anything else that doesn’t look right. If you’re on a small lot, you may need to look from a neighbor’s property. You might want to get permission first, rather than sneak into their yard with a pair of binoculars. I’m told that the police frown on that type of behavior. Every two years have a licensed roofer or qualified home inspector go up and walk the roof. By walking the roof, they will get to see everything up close and personal.
Maintenance: Pretty simple stuff here. If you see something wrong, get it fixed! Cut back any branches that are touching the roof. Remove debris (and kid’s toys) that you find. If there are broken tiles, get them replaced. If they’re loose, get them secured. Most people don’t realize that roof tiles aren’t 100% water proof. They are made of concrete and concrete is porous. Part of their job is to protect the underlayment, or roofing paper, which sheds any water that seeps through the tiles. If the underlayment is exposed to the elements, it deteriorates. That’s what often causes the leak.
I hope you found this week’s column as hilarious as those in the past. Probably not, roofs just aren’t that funny. I actually know a pretty good roof joke. Never mind, it’s over your head.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Sorting out Home Furnace Filters: How to Choose the Right One
The science behind home filtration has come a long way, baby! Originally designed to help protect the HVAC (Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning) system, today’s furnace filter is on the front line in the battle to improve indoor air quality. Selecting the right filter is a balance between health, expectations, budget, and possibly sanity.
Spun Fiberglass
At a few dollars each, these are the cheapest and most common type of furnace filter. They block most of the large dust particles, but smaller allergens, like pollen and mold spores, will pass right through. Because they are the thinnest of all filters, they are best suited for lower quality builder grade systems that cannot handle a thicker filter media. A spun fiberglass filter should be changed monthly.
Washable/Electrostatic
Slightly more effective than a fiberglass filter, the attraction of a washable filter lies in long term savings. The initial cost is around $25, but they last for years. The downside is in the washing. In dustier climates they should be cleaned monthly, and that’s not practical for the typical busy homeowner.
Pleated Media
More surface means more filtration. A pleated filter combines a thicker filtration media to catch more particles, with pleats to increase the overall working surface, making it an effective and popular option. The cost is about $15, and they can last up to three months, depending on climate conditions. The thicker media may reduce the efficiency of builder grade systems.
Electronic Air Filters
For people with severe allergies or similar health related issues, the benefits of an electronic air filtration system might justify the initial cost of $700 or more. Using electromagnetic attraction, they can eliminate pollen and mold spores as well as many airborne viruses.
The most common HVAC maintenance and repair issues can be traced back to filter neglect. So whatever the choice, remember to clean or replace it often. Now, back to the store- there’s new guy starting today, and I’ve got front row seats!
Dust Reducing Tips
Use a good furnace filter and change it often
Use an efficient vacuum (Central vac and HEPA are great)
Avoid smoking the house
Keep pets cleaned and groomed, and brush them outside
Remove footwear before coming inside
Keep windows closed
Reduce drafts
Choose tile or wood flooring instead of carpet