I get a fair amount of letters, err...emails, from readers of my magazine column. There's a lot of (maybe too much) variety, ranging from pointed questions to random thoughts, and even a proposal for marriage! (Note to Miriam C., 82 years young- While I appreciate the revealing photos, I’m already taken!)
One of the letters read like this:
I read your column this week – as I usually do – and laughed – as I usually do…and it was so true what you said about “Oh no, another local magazine.” I decided to browse through it despite my initial thoughts on the magazine and found that it was actually quite interesting. I must say that your article is one of my favorites –sometimes useful and always pretty funny. I have been reading it ever since. (Ok, ok not EVERY issue). Your plea for help has not gone unnoticed and I felt the immediate need to get my wits about me and send you an email. I thought that I would start typing and something would come to me that would help but unfortunately nothing so far. I was wondering if you had children – I have a 12 year old and a 1 year old and thought perhaps you may want to branch out in that direction. For example, do you have experience with potty training? I bet you would have a flood of questions. With that suggestion said I do have a question (more of a curiosity) that I have wondered about in the past. Bear with me – I am only trying to help you out. My question: Why are the houses in Phoenix made with 2x4’s instead of 2x6’s? Where I came from - the north - most houses are constructed with 2x6’s. Wouldn’t this be more energy efficient – the houses seem paper thin.
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for reading! Yes, I have three children, ages 10, 9, and 6. When it comes to potty training, I find duct tape to be a wonderful product! This is just one reason why I focus my efforts on home tips and not raising kids. I will give you one quick tidbit, though. When your three year old son utters the phrase “Oh no, I “goed” poopy on Spiderman!” it’s not a good thing.
Regarding the construction of homes using 2x4’s instead of 2x6’s, you are absolutely correct. 2x6 is better. With a 2x6 wall you will get better insulation and sound proofing, and you’ll also get straighter walls. With the insulation, most builders use a batt type of material. Batt insulation comes in various thicknesses which translate into different “R-values”. R-value is the material’s ability to resist the flow of heat. The higher the R-value the more effective the insulation. a 2x4 wall will take up to an R-15 batt, will a 2x6 wall will take up to R-21. I have seen some builders try to push an R-21 batt into a 2x4 wall, but that does no good because compressing the insulation reduces it’s R-value.
As to “why” they don’t all use 2x6, the basic answer is “value engineering”. This is builder-eze for making something cheaper, so they can increase their profits. Did I say that? Actually, what I meant was- so they can build you a better value your hard earned money. Why yes, I am running for political office, why do you ask?
Friday, September 28, 2007
Some Foresight on Foreclosures
I know this comes as a shock to many of you, but I don’t make a living as a writer. On the contrary, while the fine ownership of In&Out pays me much more than I’m worth, 48 cents a month just doesn’t pay the bills. My real job is managing a home inspection company, and every once in a while I feel the compulsion to do a column related to said real job. I’m just funny that way.
Just a few years ago, the real estate bubble was in full bloom. Sellers were receiving multiple offers on their homes before the ink was dry on the listing agreement. Buyers, on the other hand, were scrambling to get a piece of the American dream. A full price offer was no guarantee that they would get the home they desired so offers above asking price were commonplace.
During this wild and crazy time, the seller held all the cards. They would smugly offer their home “as is”, refusing to make even a minor concession. Can’t say that I blame them, that’s what happens in a seller’s market- it’s that whole supply and demand thing that we learned in Economics 101. As a matter of record, I did the same thing. The problem arose when buyers, and sometimes the agent representing them, would add two plus two and get three! They would think that “as is” translated into “no home inspection”. The mindset was- ‘why should I pay for an inspection, when the seller won’t fix anything that’s found”. This wrong-headed thinking led to many a homebuyer purchasing a home that was not only overpriced, but in need of serious repair. Not very smart, and shame on any agent who supports this bad advice!
Let’s fast-forward to today. Look in any real estate listings publication and you’ll see numerous ads for “short sale” or “bank owned” properties. Times have changed, and there are opportunities galore for buyers! (Just a bit of unsolicited advice- In a buyer’s market, YOU BUY!!! They don’t last forever)
Sadly, buyers and their agents are making the same stupid mistake that they did a few years ago. Because short sales and bank owned properties are being sold “as-is”, the inspection has once again become the red-headed stepchild of the real estate transaction. Fool me twice, shame on me!
Don’t make this mistake! Bank owned and pre-foreclosure properties have the same thing in common- distressed homeowners. While owner occupied pre-foreclosure properties may still be maintained, investor owned and bank owned properties are quite often neglected. Utilities are often shut off for long periods of time. Some are even intentionally damaged by former owners, tenants, and vandals.
A proper home inspection costs just a few hundred dollars and can save you thousands. Don’t make the same mistake that you made a few years ago. And if your agent recommends that you not have the property inspected, then you need to find another agent.
Ok, now you have some good advice, and I’ve actually met my quota to talk about home inspection at least once a year. It’s kind of funny that when I do write this type of column, I almost always get one or two emails from real estate agents accusing me of trashing their profession. For the record, that’s not my point. If you are truly a “real estate professional” this should all make perfect sense. If you feel differently, please do contact me. I’d be happy to print your letter and respond publicly.
Just a few years ago, the real estate bubble was in full bloom. Sellers were receiving multiple offers on their homes before the ink was dry on the listing agreement. Buyers, on the other hand, were scrambling to get a piece of the American dream. A full price offer was no guarantee that they would get the home they desired so offers above asking price were commonplace.
During this wild and crazy time, the seller held all the cards. They would smugly offer their home “as is”, refusing to make even a minor concession. Can’t say that I blame them, that’s what happens in a seller’s market- it’s that whole supply and demand thing that we learned in Economics 101. As a matter of record, I did the same thing. The problem arose when buyers, and sometimes the agent representing them, would add two plus two and get three! They would think that “as is” translated into “no home inspection”. The mindset was- ‘why should I pay for an inspection, when the seller won’t fix anything that’s found”. This wrong-headed thinking led to many a homebuyer purchasing a home that was not only overpriced, but in need of serious repair. Not very smart, and shame on any agent who supports this bad advice!
Let’s fast-forward to today. Look in any real estate listings publication and you’ll see numerous ads for “short sale” or “bank owned” properties. Times have changed, and there are opportunities galore for buyers! (Just a bit of unsolicited advice- In a buyer’s market, YOU BUY!!! They don’t last forever)
Sadly, buyers and their agents are making the same stupid mistake that they did a few years ago. Because short sales and bank owned properties are being sold “as-is”, the inspection has once again become the red-headed stepchild of the real estate transaction. Fool me twice, shame on me!
Don’t make this mistake! Bank owned and pre-foreclosure properties have the same thing in common- distressed homeowners. While owner occupied pre-foreclosure properties may still be maintained, investor owned and bank owned properties are quite often neglected. Utilities are often shut off for long periods of time. Some are even intentionally damaged by former owners, tenants, and vandals.
A proper home inspection costs just a few hundred dollars and can save you thousands. Don’t make the same mistake that you made a few years ago. And if your agent recommends that you not have the property inspected, then you need to find another agent.
Ok, now you have some good advice, and I’ve actually met my quota to talk about home inspection at least once a year. It’s kind of funny that when I do write this type of column, I almost always get one or two emails from real estate agents accusing me of trashing their profession. For the record, that’s not my point. If you are truly a “real estate professional” this should all make perfect sense. If you feel differently, please do contact me. I’d be happy to print your letter and respond publicly.
Green and Lazy
Riddle me this: What’s green and lazy and never gets any respect from his publisher? Answer: Me!
Here I am once again late with my column, and Nadine is threatening to bump me for an article on Norwegian Origami. I mean no offense to all you Norwegian Origami enthusiasts, but I sincerely believe that I can tap out something that might appeal to a slightly larger demographic. Which got me thinking…
Being green is the “new millennium” thing to do. Whether you’re a Birkenstock wearing throwback from Haight-Ashbury, or a Yuppie Dink with a PHD and an SUV, it’s your job to help save the planet from ozone, non-biodegradable packaging, and overweight middle aged men who insist on wearing skintight Under-Armor athletic wear. Ok, maybe you just need to pick two of the three, but it’s your choice.
I have to admit that I’m a bit intimidated with all the new politically correct rules when it comes to being “green”. I think that part of this intimidation stems from my overwhelming desire to defend the self-absorbed and lazy side of me that I’ve worked so hard to nurture. I want to be green, but I don’t want it to hurt! I mean think about it, if we all held our collective breath for 35 minutes, we would reduce carbon dioxide emissions by 83 percent, AND provide a much needed food source for the endangered Canadian Corpse Worm. But that wouldn’t be much fun now, would it?
Here’s a short list of things you can do to help, without much hurt:
Refuse the plastic grocery bag! If you’re like me, getting a plastic bag is just part of the shopping experience, even if we don’t need one. I have made a conscious effort to say NO, when I have just a few items. I did a little experiment, and in just one week I consumed 18 less bags, just by not taking one when I had three or less small items. If you want to go a step further, carry reusable bags for the bigger shopping trips. Some stores (CHRISTINE- ADD STORES HERE!!!) even pay you a few cents for doing it.
Change to Fluorescent lights- While the old fluorescents used to have that harsh high school biology class light, the new ones offer different hues that are as comfy as grandma’s porch light (whatever!). I replaced 27 regular bulbs with fluorescents and I can’t tell the difference. The average household will save about $65 in five years for every bulb they switch. The newer bulb last about that long and cost around $3 each (less if you really look around). So, I’m going to save about $300 a year and lower my carbon footprint at the same time!
Remove the lids from your bottles- Many recycling plants are not able to recycle plastic bottles that have the lids screwed on. Make sure you remove them before throwing the bottles in the bin. Here’s an idea: Collect all the lids and make original “cap sculptures”. Try it, it’s more fun than Norwegian Origami!
Stop wasting water!- Did you know that one dripping faucet could fill Lake Michigan in just three days? Jeez, some of you will believe anything! But a dripping faucet, or over watering, or running the faucet while you’re brushing your teeth or shaving, all waste water. So do something about it!
None of the suggestions I made are all that difficult. Even if you just pick one, you’re helping. If you have other tips that are simple and make a difference, send them to me. It will help the planet and more importantly, help me write another article, thus keeping my publisher off my back. You do realize that “Nadine” rhymes with “mean”. Oh yeah, and “green”!
Here I am once again late with my column, and Nadine is threatening to bump me for an article on Norwegian Origami. I mean no offense to all you Norwegian Origami enthusiasts, but I sincerely believe that I can tap out something that might appeal to a slightly larger demographic. Which got me thinking…
Being green is the “new millennium” thing to do. Whether you’re a Birkenstock wearing throwback from Haight-Ashbury, or a Yuppie Dink with a PHD and an SUV, it’s your job to help save the planet from ozone, non-biodegradable packaging, and overweight middle aged men who insist on wearing skintight Under-Armor athletic wear. Ok, maybe you just need to pick two of the three, but it’s your choice.
I have to admit that I’m a bit intimidated with all the new politically correct rules when it comes to being “green”. I think that part of this intimidation stems from my overwhelming desire to defend the self-absorbed and lazy side of me that I’ve worked so hard to nurture. I want to be green, but I don’t want it to hurt! I mean think about it, if we all held our collective breath for 35 minutes, we would reduce carbon dioxide emissions by 83 percent, AND provide a much needed food source for the endangered Canadian Corpse Worm. But that wouldn’t be much fun now, would it?
Here’s a short list of things you can do to help, without much hurt:
Refuse the plastic grocery bag! If you’re like me, getting a plastic bag is just part of the shopping experience, even if we don’t need one. I have made a conscious effort to say NO, when I have just a few items. I did a little experiment, and in just one week I consumed 18 less bags, just by not taking one when I had three or less small items. If you want to go a step further, carry reusable bags for the bigger shopping trips. Some stores (CHRISTINE- ADD STORES HERE!!!) even pay you a few cents for doing it.
Change to Fluorescent lights- While the old fluorescents used to have that harsh high school biology class light, the new ones offer different hues that are as comfy as grandma’s porch light (whatever!). I replaced 27 regular bulbs with fluorescents and I can’t tell the difference. The average household will save about $65 in five years for every bulb they switch. The newer bulb last about that long and cost around $3 each (less if you really look around). So, I’m going to save about $300 a year and lower my carbon footprint at the same time!
Remove the lids from your bottles- Many recycling plants are not able to recycle plastic bottles that have the lids screwed on. Make sure you remove them before throwing the bottles in the bin. Here’s an idea: Collect all the lids and make original “cap sculptures”. Try it, it’s more fun than Norwegian Origami!
Stop wasting water!- Did you know that one dripping faucet could fill Lake Michigan in just three days? Jeez, some of you will believe anything! But a dripping faucet, or over watering, or running the faucet while you’re brushing your teeth or shaving, all waste water. So do something about it!
None of the suggestions I made are all that difficult. Even if you just pick one, you’re helping. If you have other tips that are simple and make a difference, send them to me. It will help the planet and more importantly, help me write another article, thus keeping my publisher off my back. You do realize that “Nadine” rhymes with “mean”. Oh yeah, and “green”!
The Poop on Pigeons
If pigeons have gotten a bad rap, then so be it, the little suckers deserve it! I’ve gotten several calls and emails from readers asking how to make the “flying rats” go away. Like hemorrhoids and in-laws, once you have pigeons, eradication is painful, costly, and a real pain in the butt.
Before we talk about pigeon remediation, I think a brief history lesson is in order. First of all the Common Pigeon is technically not a pigeon at all, but a Rock Dove. While that’s sort of splitting feathers, I want to make the distinction between a Common Pigeon and a Band-Tail Pigeon. Band-Tails are native to the U.S. and are rarely a problem in suburbia. Common Pigeons (like Limburger Cheese and hairy armpits) were imported from Europe. They love hanging out in residential areas due to the abundance of ledges and eaves that allow for roosting, loafing, and nest building. Add to this the plentiful food sources and our communities are a veritable pigeon Shangra-la!
Pigeons are bad news for several reasons. The term “flying rat” was coined by disease control professionals because, like rats, pigeons are prolific carriers of several deadly maladies such as: psittacosis, Newcastle Disease, aspergillosis, pseudo tuberculosis,
pigeon coccidiosis, toxoplasmosis, encephalitis, and Salmonella typhimurium. (I think my “spell-check” just blew up). They can also cause damage to your property due to the corrosive nature of their feces, their nests clogging drains and gutters, and jet planes crashing into your home when the engines get clogged with pigeon carcasses. If this isn’t enough, they also carry parasites like fleas, ticks, and mites. Ok, not quite as bad as in-laws, but pretty close.
The best way to protect yourself from pigeons is to not get them in the first place. Never feed pigeons, and kindly ask your neighbors to not feed them as well. Feed not only attracts them, but makes them more susceptible to disease because of the poor nutritional value of the stuff you generally feed them. White bread will make them fat and lazy, just like it does with people. Don’t leave pet food outside, and cover all garbage.
If you have pigeons, you probably will want to call a professional. Because of the disease factor and their tendency to roost in high places, “pigeon proofing” is dangerous business. Poisons are also dangerous and don’t have much effect. You probably don’t want to waste your money on frightening devices or decoys, such as plastic owls or snakes. Pigeons are either really smart or really stupid, and these deterrents are mostly ineffective. Mylar or foils strips generally only provide temporary relief and make your house look like a landing strip for UFOs. You might try shooting them (easy now!) with a high pressure stream of water. This may be effective if you’re consistent, but particularly humane. Some professional will only remove the pigeons and not clean up or install deterrents. Make sure you know what you’re getting before you hire them.
I know that pigeons aren’t the only bird that causes problems. My personal opinion is that, in most cases, they were here first and we need to deal with it. Woodpeckers can do a number on your stucco walls and I feel real bad about that, truly I do. If you have an area that they like to visit, try squirting some hot sauce on that area. I have no scientific proof that this works, but I know I wouldn’t like it.
NOTE- I want to apologize to any in-laws or Europeans who were offended by my remarks. I am both European and an in-law, and as of this writing, it’s still legal to make fun of one’s self.
Before we talk about pigeon remediation, I think a brief history lesson is in order. First of all the Common Pigeon is technically not a pigeon at all, but a Rock Dove. While that’s sort of splitting feathers, I want to make the distinction between a Common Pigeon and a Band-Tail Pigeon. Band-Tails are native to the U.S. and are rarely a problem in suburbia. Common Pigeons (like Limburger Cheese and hairy armpits) were imported from Europe. They love hanging out in residential areas due to the abundance of ledges and eaves that allow for roosting, loafing, and nest building. Add to this the plentiful food sources and our communities are a veritable pigeon Shangra-la!
Pigeons are bad news for several reasons. The term “flying rat” was coined by disease control professionals because, like rats, pigeons are prolific carriers of several deadly maladies such as: psittacosis, Newcastle Disease, aspergillosis, pseudo tuberculosis,
pigeon coccidiosis, toxoplasmosis, encephalitis, and Salmonella typhimurium. (I think my “spell-check” just blew up). They can also cause damage to your property due to the corrosive nature of their feces, their nests clogging drains and gutters, and jet planes crashing into your home when the engines get clogged with pigeon carcasses. If this isn’t enough, they also carry parasites like fleas, ticks, and mites. Ok, not quite as bad as in-laws, but pretty close.
The best way to protect yourself from pigeons is to not get them in the first place. Never feed pigeons, and kindly ask your neighbors to not feed them as well. Feed not only attracts them, but makes them more susceptible to disease because of the poor nutritional value of the stuff you generally feed them. White bread will make them fat and lazy, just like it does with people. Don’t leave pet food outside, and cover all garbage.
If you have pigeons, you probably will want to call a professional. Because of the disease factor and their tendency to roost in high places, “pigeon proofing” is dangerous business. Poisons are also dangerous and don’t have much effect. You probably don’t want to waste your money on frightening devices or decoys, such as plastic owls or snakes. Pigeons are either really smart or really stupid, and these deterrents are mostly ineffective. Mylar or foils strips generally only provide temporary relief and make your house look like a landing strip for UFOs. You might try shooting them (easy now!) with a high pressure stream of water. This may be effective if you’re consistent, but particularly humane. Some professional will only remove the pigeons and not clean up or install deterrents. Make sure you know what you’re getting before you hire them.
I know that pigeons aren’t the only bird that causes problems. My personal opinion is that, in most cases, they were here first and we need to deal with it. Woodpeckers can do a number on your stucco walls and I feel real bad about that, truly I do. If you have an area that they like to visit, try squirting some hot sauce on that area. I have no scientific proof that this works, but I know I wouldn’t like it.
NOTE- I want to apologize to any in-laws or Europeans who were offended by my remarks. I am both European and an in-law, and as of this writing, it’s still legal to make fun of one’s self.
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