“Someday we’ll look back on this and it will all seem funny. But now you’re said, your Momma’s mad, and your Pappa says he know that I don’t have any money…” Bruce Springsteen, from the song “Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)” circa 1972
I don’t know exactly why, but when I began writing my ’07 wrap up article, that song (and particularly that verse) popped into my head. This may quite possibly be a sign that my mind is beginning to deteriorate, in which case I can look forward to more random moldy oldies playing on my inner iPod Shuffle. Or, it could be that it puts a nice punctuation point on the year that was.
If your livelihood (or investment portfolio) is even indirectly connected to residential real estate, I’m guessing that 2007 was not a banner year. I’m also going to guess that you’re glad to see it in the rearview mirror. And I can understand that. There’s an old saying that goes “Sometimes, in life, you feel like a Jackass in a wind storm. You just have to stand there and take it!” If the Springsteenian wisdom doesn’t do it for you, try that one on for size. But being the sickly sweet, optimistic, Pollyanna that I am, I’m going to miss the year soon to be known as “last”. Because in a lot of ways (at least for me) it was a really great one!
I came into ’07 with a healthy family, and I’m leaving it the same way. After that, everything else is small potatoes. While I’m no skinnier than I was a year ago, I’m no fatter! Less hair, yes, more wrinkly, sure, but no fatter! My wife still puts up with my bad jokes, and occasionally even laughs- I’m really not sure if she’s laughing at my jokes or my progressively balding wrinkling face- but hey, a laugh is a laugh!
None of my hometown sports teams did very well this year (I’m a diehard, loser, Philly fan) but I had the honor of coaching a great bunch of kids in flag football. And, I can still drag my middle aged butt up and down a basketball court two or three times a week. It ain’t pretty, but I can still do it.
The slow real estate market meant I was able to spend more time with my kids-always a good thing! I learned that a six year old boy never tires out, unless it’s time to do chores. I also learned that the definitions for “preteen girl” and “drama” are interchangeable.
My writing improved last year as well. Maybe not my creative ability, but certainly my grammar and sentence structure…well at least my grammar. I even had a reader patiently take the time to teach me how to properly conjugate the word “unequivocal”, while at a Christmas party last week (Thanks Sara!) Of course, I did have to go home and look up the word “conjugate”. Actually, Sara was quite complimentary of my work, and she’s just one of many who have come up to me and said nice things. That’s really made it a great year!
I love this community! And as In & Out extends its circulation all the way down to Happy Valley, I’ve gotten a chance to meet more and more really nice people. In a relatively short time, this year will be a distant memory, and I know that most of it will make me smile when I think back on it. But that’s just me, the sickly sweet, optimistic, Pollyanna with the thinning hair and wrinkles.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Dirty Sock Syndrome
I can’t think of many things that smell worse than a wet, dirty sock, Ok, maybe I can. Let’s see-a day-old diaper, the rat that died under the refrigerator, my aunt Mamie on a humid summer day… Anyway, a wet, dirty sock is pretty bad. And it’s worse if it’s being wafted through the duct system of your home, every time you run your air conditioning or heat. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to “Dirty Socks Syndrome”, hereafter referred to as DSS, to save me the time of typing it again.. All of a sudden, I've been getting a rash of emails from readers reporting that they have a stinky HVAC (heating, ventilation, and air conditioning) system. DSS might just be the culprit!
I was surprised when I recently discovered the phenomenon of DSS. After eliminating several of my own theories, I called Eric Nichols at Daisy Mountain AC, and he pointed me in the right direction. Just when I thought I knew everything, up pops yet another problem that requires me to do yet more reading and research! This research led me to the Residential Duct Systems Manual “D”, brought to you by your good friends at the Air Conditioning Contractors Association of America. (Actually, Eric faxed me the info but you don't have to know that) According to what I read, there isn't really a clear consensus on what causes this phenomenon. Some researchers contend that it is the result of biological contaminants that get sucked through your HVAC system. These microorganisms stick to the evaporator coil. Now here’s where things get a little sketchy. Many researchers say that DSS only occurs with electric heat! The problem with that is that the people writing me all have gas heat, AND were experiencing the stinkies in the summer, when the air conditioning was being used. So now I have to add my own wild and unconfirmed speculation. So here goes:
If your evaporator coil (you have at least one in your attic, trust me) gets dirty, then these microorganisms can gain a foothold. These guys already exist in the air and unless you have a better than average filtration system, it's just a matter of time before they coat the coil. Leaky duct work and infrequent filter changes will accelerate the contamination process. During monsoon season, we get a lot of humidity. The moisture works as plant food for these microorganisms. The nice warm environment that a summer attic provides, serves as a Petri dish. The only thing left is for you to turn on the AC. Now that nasty, stinky, mess gets wafted throughout your home. It's kind of like taking a teenager's dirty laundry hamper and attaching a blow dryer!
So, what do you do? The first thing is to have an HVAC professional come out and check it out. Do your due diligence so you don't get a fly-by-nighter trying to sell you a bunch of unnecessary add ons. A good evaporator coil cleaning should do the trick. If the guy recommends duct cleaning, get at least one other unbiased opinion. If the stink tends to come back, you might have leaky ducting. I really want to stress the importance of using a good company. If not, you could get taken to the cleaners!
A long term option might be a device that employs a broad spectrum high intensity UV light to kill the microorganisms. UV light has long been used in the food, air, and water industries as a method of killing nasty germs and bacteria. These guys can cost $700 or more, so (for the third time!) do your homework! And before you go and spend a bunch of money, make sure it's not something that crawled under the fridge!
I was surprised when I recently discovered the phenomenon of DSS. After eliminating several of my own theories, I called Eric Nichols at Daisy Mountain AC, and he pointed me in the right direction. Just when I thought I knew everything, up pops yet another problem that requires me to do yet more reading and research! This research led me to the Residential Duct Systems Manual “D”, brought to you by your good friends at the Air Conditioning Contractors Association of America. (Actually, Eric faxed me the info but you don't have to know that) According to what I read, there isn't really a clear consensus on what causes this phenomenon. Some researchers contend that it is the result of biological contaminants that get sucked through your HVAC system. These microorganisms stick to the evaporator coil. Now here’s where things get a little sketchy. Many researchers say that DSS only occurs with electric heat! The problem with that is that the people writing me all have gas heat, AND were experiencing the stinkies in the summer, when the air conditioning was being used. So now I have to add my own wild and unconfirmed speculation. So here goes:
If your evaporator coil (you have at least one in your attic, trust me) gets dirty, then these microorganisms can gain a foothold. These guys already exist in the air and unless you have a better than average filtration system, it's just a matter of time before they coat the coil. Leaky duct work and infrequent filter changes will accelerate the contamination process. During monsoon season, we get a lot of humidity. The moisture works as plant food for these microorganisms. The nice warm environment that a summer attic provides, serves as a Petri dish. The only thing left is for you to turn on the AC. Now that nasty, stinky, mess gets wafted throughout your home. It's kind of like taking a teenager's dirty laundry hamper and attaching a blow dryer!
So, what do you do? The first thing is to have an HVAC professional come out and check it out. Do your due diligence so you don't get a fly-by-nighter trying to sell you a bunch of unnecessary add ons. A good evaporator coil cleaning should do the trick. If the guy recommends duct cleaning, get at least one other unbiased opinion. If the stink tends to come back, you might have leaky ducting. I really want to stress the importance of using a good company. If not, you could get taken to the cleaners!
A long term option might be a device that employs a broad spectrum high intensity UV light to kill the microorganisms. UV light has long been used in the food, air, and water industries as a method of killing nasty germs and bacteria. These guys can cost $700 or more, so (for the third time!) do your homework! And before you go and spend a bunch of money, make sure it's not something that crawled under the fridge!
Santa V. The HOA
Dear Chris,
I really enjoy your column. I always learn something and get a chuckle at the same time. In fact, I read it to the elves during break time- it really helps to ease the tension that comes with 22 hour workdays. Hopefully you can help me with my problem.
As you can probably imagine, Rudolph has gotten quite full of himself over the years. When I rescued him from the Island of Misfits, he was just a shy yearling with chronic nasal congestion. Now, I’m sad to say, Rudolph has gone “Hollywood” and is demanding his own private stable. The problem is that I’m not sure the North Pole CC&R’s will allow it! I’ve already gotten “nastygrams” for leaving my Christmas lights up too long, and for violating the pooper scooper ordinance. We had to shut down Mrs. Claus’s cookie baking business when our neighbor, Old Man Winter, reported us to the health department.
Any advice or direction would be greatly appreciated.
Kristopher Nicholas Kringle (aka Santa)
Dear Santa,
Thank you for taking the time to write. While I’m not familiar with the CC&R’s where you live, my guess is you’ve got a snowball’s chance in… well, you get the idea.
To be perfectly frank, you don’t sound like the kind of guy who should live in an HOA type community. Did you read the CC&R’s BEFORE you bought there? You’ve already ticked off one neighbor; it’s just a matter of time before the Ice Queen comes down on you as well. I can only imagine what it would be like to live downwind of eight reindeer- tiny or not! Do you have enough off-street sleigh parking for the elves? I’m guessing no. And 22 hours a day of hammering, sawing, and Blitzen knows what else? Dude, you’re the misfit!
Regarding your stable building question, let’s do some simple math here. The Rudolph movie came out in 1964, which means your” problem child” is at least 43 years old. Don’t you think it’s time he got a place of his own? Cut the cord, man, cut the cord! I’ve read in the tabloids that all he does is sit around with his childhood friend Hermey, drinking cider and playing Xbox. You’re way too easy on him, Santa. As an aside, Hermey really should have pursued that career in dentistry- candy canes have NOT been kind to his smile!
Sorry if I’m coming down a bit hard on you Santa, but it sounds to me like you need a little tough love and piping hot cup of reality check! Your story is eerily familiar to the Easter Bunny v. Sun City- Briar Patch case a few years back. E.B. knew that he couldn’t let his 4,327 children live in an age restricted community but he did it anyway. Have you noticed that the baskets have been smaller the last few years? Attorneys aren’t cheap, Mr. Kringle. You need to make some changes quick or you could be jingling all the way to the poor house!
Let me suggest selling the home you have, and picking up some acreage in the Yukon. The Abominable Snowman is a Realtor® up there- use my name and he’ll take good care of you. Sure, you’ll take a hit because of current market conditions, but it’s all relative. This way you can start fresh and do things right. Mrs. Claus can re-launch her cookie business, Rudolph and his buddies will have room to romp, and you might find the isolation quite relaxing.
Good luck Santa, please see my attached wish list. Oh, and if you could, try and park the reindeer in the driveway this year. I’m not saying it was you, but we just happened to find some cracked roof tiles right after last year’s visit.
I really enjoy your column. I always learn something and get a chuckle at the same time. In fact, I read it to the elves during break time- it really helps to ease the tension that comes with 22 hour workdays. Hopefully you can help me with my problem.
As you can probably imagine, Rudolph has gotten quite full of himself over the years. When I rescued him from the Island of Misfits, he was just a shy yearling with chronic nasal congestion. Now, I’m sad to say, Rudolph has gone “Hollywood” and is demanding his own private stable. The problem is that I’m not sure the North Pole CC&R’s will allow it! I’ve already gotten “nastygrams” for leaving my Christmas lights up too long, and for violating the pooper scooper ordinance. We had to shut down Mrs. Claus’s cookie baking business when our neighbor, Old Man Winter, reported us to the health department.
Any advice or direction would be greatly appreciated.
Kristopher Nicholas Kringle (aka Santa)
Dear Santa,
Thank you for taking the time to write. While I’m not familiar with the CC&R’s where you live, my guess is you’ve got a snowball’s chance in… well, you get the idea.
To be perfectly frank, you don’t sound like the kind of guy who should live in an HOA type community. Did you read the CC&R’s BEFORE you bought there? You’ve already ticked off one neighbor; it’s just a matter of time before the Ice Queen comes down on you as well. I can only imagine what it would be like to live downwind of eight reindeer- tiny or not! Do you have enough off-street sleigh parking for the elves? I’m guessing no. And 22 hours a day of hammering, sawing, and Blitzen knows what else? Dude, you’re the misfit!
Regarding your stable building question, let’s do some simple math here. The Rudolph movie came out in 1964, which means your” problem child” is at least 43 years old. Don’t you think it’s time he got a place of his own? Cut the cord, man, cut the cord! I’ve read in the tabloids that all he does is sit around with his childhood friend Hermey, drinking cider and playing Xbox. You’re way too easy on him, Santa. As an aside, Hermey really should have pursued that career in dentistry- candy canes have NOT been kind to his smile!
Sorry if I’m coming down a bit hard on you Santa, but it sounds to me like you need a little tough love and piping hot cup of reality check! Your story is eerily familiar to the Easter Bunny v. Sun City- Briar Patch case a few years back. E.B. knew that he couldn’t let his 4,327 children live in an age restricted community but he did it anyway. Have you noticed that the baskets have been smaller the last few years? Attorneys aren’t cheap, Mr. Kringle. You need to make some changes quick or you could be jingling all the way to the poor house!
Let me suggest selling the home you have, and picking up some acreage in the Yukon. The Abominable Snowman is a Realtor® up there- use my name and he’ll take good care of you. Sure, you’ll take a hit because of current market conditions, but it’s all relative. This way you can start fresh and do things right. Mrs. Claus can re-launch her cookie business, Rudolph and his buddies will have room to romp, and you might find the isolation quite relaxing.
Good luck Santa, please see my attached wish list. Oh, and if you could, try and park the reindeer in the driveway this year. I’m not saying it was you, but we just happened to find some cracked roof tiles right after last year’s visit.
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