The Poop on Pigeons

If pigeons have gotten a bad rap, then so be it, the little suckers deserve it! I’ve gotten several calls and emails from readers asking how to make the “flying rats” go away. Like hemorrhoids and in-laws, once you have pigeons, eradication is painful, costly, and a real pain in the butt.

Before we talk about pigeon remediation, I think a brief history lesson is in order. First of all the Common Pigeon is technically not a pigeon at all, but a Rock Dove. While that’s sort of splitting feathers, I want to make the distinction between a Common Pigeon and a Band-Tail Pigeon. Band-Tails are native to the U.S. and are rarely a problem in suburbia. Common Pigeons (like Limburger Cheese and hairy armpits) were imported from Europe. They love hanging out in residential areas due to the abundance of ledges and eaves that allow for roosting, loafing, and nest building. Add to this the plentiful food sources and our communities are a veritable pigeon Shangra-la!

Pigeons are bad news for several reasons. The term “flying rat” was coined by disease control professionals because, like rats, pigeons are prolific carriers of several deadly maladies such as: psittacosis, Newcastle Disease, aspergillosis, pseudo tuberculosis,
pigeon coccidiosis, toxoplasmosis, encephalitis, and Salmonella typhimurium. (I think my “spell-check” just blew up). They can also cause damage to your property due to the corrosive nature of their feces, their nests clogging drains and gutters, and jet planes crashing into your home when the engines get clogged with pigeon carcasses. If this isn’t enough, they also carry parasites like fleas, ticks, and mites. Ok, not quite as bad as in-laws, but pretty close.

The best way to protect yourself from pigeons is to not get them in the first place. Never feed pigeons, and kindly ask your neighbors to not feed them as well. Feed not only attracts them, but makes them more susceptible to disease because of the poor nutritional value of the stuff you generally feed them. White bread will make them fat and lazy, just like it does with people. Don’t leave pet food outside, and cover all garbage.

If you have pigeons, you probably will want to call a professional. Because of the disease factor and their tendency to roost in high places, “pigeon proofing” is dangerous business. Poisons are also dangerous and don’t have much effect. You probably don’t want to waste your money on frightening devices or decoys, such as plastic owls or snakes. Pigeons are either really smart or really stupid, and these deterrents are mostly ineffective. Mylar or foils strips generally only provide temporary relief and make your house look like a landing strip for UFOs. You might try shooting them (easy now!) with a high pressure stream of water. This may be effective if you’re consistent, but particularly humane. Some professional will only remove the pigeons and not clean up or install deterrents. Make sure you know what you’re getting before you hire them.

I know that pigeons aren’t the only bird that causes problems. My personal opinion is that, in most cases, they were here first and we need to deal with it. Woodpeckers can do a number on your stucco walls and I feel real bad about that, truly I do. If you have an area that they like to visit, try squirting some hot sauce on that area. I have no scientific proof that this works, but I know I wouldn’t like it.
NOTE- I want to apologize to any in-laws or Europeans who were offended by my remarks. I am both European and an in-law, and as of this writing, it’s still legal to make fun of one’s self.