Bringing Back The Front Porch

I remember way back in the Sixties, sitting on my Aunt Mamie’s porch in Riverside, NJ. Yes, I really did have an Aunt Mamie. There wasn’t any great scenery from that front porch, as a matter of fact, it was on a relatively busy road and overlooked an asphalt church parking lot. Funny thing is, I have some of my most vivid childhood memories surrounding that old front porch.

There was the time, when I was about four, that I was certain that I could drip lemonade from my lip directly into my brother’s belly button. Another time, I got spanked by my aunt because she thought I said a cuss-word. (I deny it to this day). Het, I said they were vivid memories, not necessarily profound ones! Sometime we just spent hours watching the cars go by.

Fast forward forty years, and I’m sitting here writing this column while, you guessed it, sitting on my front porch! I’m not sure why I haven’t done this in so long, but it’s a leisurely delight that’s way overdue.

I actually got the idea from my new neighbor. A few months ago he came home with several boxes of unassembled patio furniture. As I watched him put it all together, (no, I didn’t help-that would be violating some unwritten “man-law”) it occurred to me that the thought of getting my own set never crossed my mind. A few days and a smokin’ deal later, and I had my very own furnished front porch!

Since I have a west facing backyard, my new outdoor “room” was an instant hit for vegging after work! It was a much bigger hit before my wife and kids figured out where I was hiding, but (as the kids say) whatever! I found the front porch was a great place to sit and read the paper in the evening, so that’s what I started doing, and then a funny thing happened. I started seeing my neighbors! Go figure- you leave the privacy of your castle and backyard, and all of a sudden you start seeing all of those other people that venture out from the safety and anonymity of their castles.

At first it was a bit uncomfortable, do I wave, or pretend I didn’t see them. If I make eye contact, will they think I’m trying to uncover some “dirt” to report to the dreaded HOA? I knew I had to play it cool. At first it was a quick glance- one eyeball only! After a few days of this, I went with two eyes, and then a ever-so-slight nod. In a week or two, I was amazed! We actually exchanged pleasant greetings. Now we’re all in a real good comfort zone and I’ve had a few visits where my neighbors have actually sat down- no, I’m serious!

If you’ve got a neglected front porch, and you wish you were better acquainted with your neighborhood, I suggest you buy some comfy outdoor furniture and try sitting in it. Bring back an old and much neglected tradition. You won’t regret it, I know I haven’t! As a matter of fact, next week I’m going to get all crazy and make a pitcher of lemonade. My wife has already shot down a reenactment of the ol’ bellybutton trick!